Toby and Claire
Dear Expectant Mother,
No matter your journey to reach this point, we are proud of you. Your strength to consider such a deep sacrifice and precious gift is admirable. We’re honored that you would consider us to parent your baby.
You must be in such a difficult position. You’re going through something we never experienced; the big emotions, all the options available to you, the impossible task of trying to think through the future. It must be very overwhelming. We’re very glad you’re in a supportive place now, with people that can help you process through everything.
We aren’t the typical adopting family. We had 2 miscarriages early in our marriage, but had 2 children a few years later. Claire had no trouble carrying them to term. Why would we want to adopt, when we can conceive? For us, adoption isn’t a baby filling a hole, but rather an outpouring of our love, and of God’s love.
You are valuable, and you are valued. You are important. Your child is important, no matter his/her race. We are open to adopting a child, or children, of any race, ethnicity, or origin.
If you choose to place your baby with us, we would absolutely love to have an open relationship with you. We believe it’s best for the baby if he/she has a personal relationship with you too, so we are committed to keeping as much contact as you and the child want.
As we get to know each other, we’d figure out the exact details of our ongoing relationship. We’d love to send you frequent pictures or emails, or have picnic lunches together, or see you at birthday parties. You would be more than welcome at the monthly parties with our extended family. (We do live in Nebraska, so visits may not always be possible. Zoom calls or other video chats could be a fun way to include you!) If it makes you comfortable, we could communicate only through Deaconess, but we hope to have independent communication with you as we all get more familiar with each other.
We’d love to hear more about you. Your child is a part of you, and you are a part of your child, and loving that child means loving you, too!
We love you, and we love your child. We’ve been praying for you both, and we’re looking forward to praying for you by name.
Toby and Claire