Pre and Post Adoption Counseling: Getting the Help You Need

While adoption can be incredibly rewarding, it can also be challenging at times; even with a great support system, there will likely be a flood of emotions and questions.  For pregnant women considering adoption in Oklahoma, Deaconess Pregnancy & Adoption offers counseling and support services. With access to these resources, you will feel empowered to make decisions that align with your best interests, without feeling like you’re doing it alone.

Wherever you are in your adoption journey, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, please know that you don’t have to face it alone. You’ll find there are many benefits of working with an adoption counselor and using the support services offered by a licensed adoption agency.

Why Take Advantage of Adoption Counseling Services?

• Your adoption counselor can help you navigate every step of the adoption process; from finding the perfect adoptive family, to referring medical and financial resources.
• Your adoption counselor can provide valuable experience and expertise. Whether this is the first time you’ve placed a child for adoption or you’re already familiar with the process, this expertise can be beneficial when you have important questions or just need someone to talk to.
• Your adoption counselor can help facilitate your relationship with your child’s adoptive family. Not only can your counselor put you in contact with adoptive families, but they can also mediate your conversations and provide coaching and support to help you build the relationship you want to have with your child’s adoptive family.
• Your adoption counselor can help you process feelings of loss and grief. Adoption can be joyous and fulfilling, not only for adoptive families, but also for you and your child. At the same time, birth parents often experience mixed feelings. Your counselor can help you work through the grieving process in a healthy, healing way.
• Your adoption counselor can provide ongoing post-placement support and guidance.

Considering Pre-Adoption Counseling

There are many resources available to those considering adoption, whether it be the birth parents or adoptive families. Many pursue pre-adoption counseling to help them sort through confusing feelings and learn how to confront challenging situations. How do you know if pre-adoption counseling is right for you? Here are some things to consider:

If You Are a Birth Mom Contemplating Adoption

The truth is that making an adoption plan for your unborn child will be accompanied by many natural, but sometimes overwhelming, emotions. A skilled counselor can help you process the difficult feelings you might have. He or she can talk to you about your own parenting values and how you can search for those in a potential adoptive family.  A counselor can also help you decide how much contact you are comfortable maintaining after your child is placed and how often you would like to be updated with e-mails, photos, or social media messages. You can also discuss your long-term goals, how adoption will help you facilitate them, and the care and opportunity your child will gain in a loving adoptive home. An adept counselor will be affirming of your feelings, growth, and courage as you move forward in your journey.

If You Just Need Some Validation

Both birth parents and adoptive parents struggle with feelings of sorrow, inadequacy, and a need for clear communication with their partners. Adopted children may need guidance through identity formation and trust-related issues. Most of the time, having a professional who can help identify the challenges and hopes of those affected by adoption can help clear a path toward resolution and positive outcomes.

The Importance of Post-Adoption Counseling

Placing a child for adoption isn’t an easy decision, and even more challenging to face alone. Many women, when placing their child for adoption, work through lawyers or facilitators instead of adoption agencies. While you can have a good experience with a lawyer, adoption agencies have at least one major benefit for birth parents: post-adoption support.

Post-adoption counseling and support can help birth parents in many ways. Whether you are struggling with negative feelings, confused about how to approach your relationship with the adoptive family, or simply want someone impartial to talk to, post-adoption counseling can help.

Types of Post-Adoption Services

Once an adoption is finalized, there are several forms of support that could be right for you. Some of the most common types of services include:

• Support groups or retreats for birth mothers. (Link to Deaconness retreat information?)
• One-on-one sessions with a counselor or therapist.
• Alternative therapy methods including meditation or artistic therapy.

It’s completely normal to have feelings of grief, depression or confusion once an adoption is complete. Thankfully, post-adoption counseling provides a way to experience those feelings with guidance and support from a trained professional. This can help you engage with your emotions and move past them in a healthy, productive way. We encourage you to seek help and keep an open mind while you search for a solution that works for you.

Where can you find Post-Adoption Counseling?

If you or your family have been touched by adoption or foster care in Oklahoma, our counseling center is here for you. Visit our website today to learn more about our services, who we serve, and how you can access our counseling and care.

For more adoption help, advice, and service, Deaconess Pregnancy & Adoption is here for you. As Oklahoma’s oldest and most experienced adoption agency, we’ve served thousands of children, women, and families and worked through every part of the adoption process. Call us today at 405-949-4200 to learn more, or visit our Facebook page for our most recent news and updates.